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An Old Soul—and her greatest fears



Sometimes following your heart means losing your mind.” –Anonymous

         When random flashes of light reminds you of himhis perfume, his hair, his bagmoments of gold that you barely recall will, in an instant, bring you back in time and space to what once was. Sure hes neither your first nor your last but hes the only one you truly loved. Hes somewhere in between and you know its the truest and bravest form of selfless expression you could give to anyone. You just know its not infatuationsince everything made it special.


         After reading an article about the new dating trend breadcrumbing via Thought Catalog, I felt intensely discourage to be associated with the Millennials even though we brag to come as the most educated among all generation. Was I offended? Maybe. Bread crumbing is familiar to everyone flirtatious texting, no commitment, no strings attached, short-lived hang outs.Maybe I was deeply hurt because the only guy I said, I love you to belongs to this radar. Other than praying God for the strength and patience for this person, other than being single and waiting for this lucky guy, other than preparing for the day I might or might not be The One for him, I am also anticipating for the day hell decide to prioritize the love he needs and wants to have. No further details.

         Call me an old soulfor wanting commitments, courtships, and a serious/faithful relationshipbut I believe that the main core of any relationship is to grow and foster with each other; its meant to last. I once wrote a blog about my greatest fear in love about three years ago. My opinion is about Unrequited love. Heck, Id slap myself for claiming that since its guaranteed to receive unreciprocated feelings or efforts wherever you go. At the past, my objective was to be loved in return. Well, the caterpillar turned into butterfly has changed her answer. The common notion To love someone at their worst and still encouraging to be their best is challenging. Tougher than that is letting go (that person letting you go) even if it means not being with them, loving them at their bestafter years of longing for their reciprocity. A braver form acceptance is to watch him give his best over some other girlmy fear is when his dark side rises, she might not handle him or leave him, causing an agonizing spear of dismay on my part as well.
You might tell me that no worthwhile girl must accept anything less than she deserves. Yet for me, I wont love just anyone by his good aspects. Of course I love him even when there are others more worthy. He is not my option; he is my choice.

Sometimes I ask myself why I havent left yet? Whats keeping me stay? Lets go back to paragraph 2 bread crumbing, where the vast majority currently prefers it. Theres a tiny portion of the minority who keeps their faith in fate (and in the person.) Some people still believe in real relationships because of the amount of sad face reaction in the post, sharing my same disappointment. Believing that I belong to that old soul minority, what is essential is not to buy all trends, since all trends die; and as soon as the majority realizes what loss they could have in their life, they might change their mind and go back to whats worth living for.


Love is an investment. One of its biggest risks it has is not to reap what it deserves to have in return. The greatest loss you can allow yourself to have is convincing yourself (or depriving yourself) of the love you ought and desire to have in your live is impossible to get or a mere fantasy. Lets admit it, these bread crumbers still have a tiny ounce of faith to have a lasting relationship but are afraid to show affection (as they believe its a manifestation of weakness.) They still hope to find someone wholl truly love, care, and cherish them when they believe that no ones like that anymore. My existence is to prove that there is one in a million whos brave and ready to live what genuine love is all about. That type of love every person still wishes to have (at least on their deepest secret files and back pockets.)
An Old Soul—and her greatest fears An Old Soul—and her greatest fears Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 10:52 PM Rating: 5

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