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The Day I Became a Bitch

The Road Less Traveled
Photo by asunshinemission.com

Prompt: Pinpoint a moment in your past where you had to make a big decision. Write about that other alternate life that could have unfolded.

Hold on there, it’s not what you think.

If you think I’ll be talking about university, career, internship, love, God, survival, hope—the usual posts. Unfortunately the line is broken, please try again and enter the pin code. Goodbye. That’s not the bitch type I’m referring to, but before I’ll let you dive for the bigger picture, here are the details.

Psychologists say that when you sleep longer, it means you are depressed. Psychologists say that when you bite your nails or lips, it means you are anxious. Who gives a damn about these comments? I sleep more than eight hours a day because I want to, not because I yawn about life, about my dissatisfaction with my degree program in school or night schedule, about my rejections in my writing and modelling portfolio. I’m quite pleased with the life I have now.

“Why are you wearing a carpet?” says my batch mate. “Thanks, I love my jacket too.” “Honey, you’re so skinny… eat up!” “Damn, you’re getting thicker, exercise, loosen up!” “Why are you toning up? No one’s going see your sculpted body anyway, unless you’re showing me your naked body. You’re fit, why exercise?” “We can’t approve your portfolio because you are a (size) four.”  Such preposterous comments right?

Noticed that when you first read the title, there's an automatic reflexive response that you have with the word bitch. Clearly, I made it the most unpredictable title to avoid open conclusions. However, some made an open ending with the post so they ignored this post or they even read it word per word in fascination of a good gossip talk. Most of you, however, changed after reading parts of the story. 

Let me define bitch for you, that type where I belong—Babe in total control of herself. Since hearing these harsh comments at least daily, I have lost control! Criticisms are inevitable but it doesn’t mean that you should follow them just to have their love. At the first place do they have one? Instead of putting myself in a rife situation where I constantly feel frustrated in being nice to everyone, I look at them in the eye with such stare “If you don’t like it, I’ll leave. You don’t have to say it.” Tired am I to know what everyone had in mind about me. I don't even want to know people's impressions over me because I know myself better more than they do... so why did I even let them defy me in the first place?

Again, for eighteen years I became defined by society according to an invented standards to which fits their approval. I don’t need to please every one just to feel that belong. After all, “not all places you fit in is a place where you belong.” 

Photo by 9gag
The place where I belong is a beautiful land where there's no pressure to fit in. There is a room for everyone, for change, for forgiveness, and for beginnings + happy endings. It is within every person who thinks that it's right to move on and live in the now. From one of the nasty comments, the most common thing I hear is, "You don't want to hang out with her... she's a loner." Okay why are people so tired of being labeled "a loner." Independence is a privilege. Heck I'd date myself everyday if I have to.

After deciding to be a bitch— but still being nice and respectful, I realized that I am one of a kind. If people will change me for my features, then I’m hindering myself to discover many things that are ought to happen in my life—things that will impact in bountiful and extravagant ways. Being a bitch still means I’m sweet and loyal but I will toughen up and fight for my rights when people are being disrespectful to me. 

Of course, people still looked at me according to my past self or how they got to know me. I let them judge and criticize me because they don’t deserve to know the real me—if they did, would they even care to understand?

Changing my mind set changed everything.    



 
The Day I Became a Bitch The Day I Became a Bitch Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 3:21 PM Rating: 5

3 comments:

  1. LOVE THIS POST MISS TAN.

    -A BIG FAN

    ReplyDelete
  2. God isn't crap....

    ReplyDelete
  3. SHIT IS REAL. Being that kind of bitch isn't bad at all.

    ReplyDelete

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