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Everything WRONG with Me



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If you're a part of my 2015, then you are lucky. Only a legit person of mine would attest that 2015 is one of my happiest year in life. Not only that it is my final year as a teen but also I began seeing my dreams come true. 2015 will be the last year of my teenage year and I guess next year, I must be a fully-fledged adult.

In the year 2016, I embrace myself for a whole new roller coaster ride. I know that it will be filled with new people, great opportunities, mixed emotions, and whole new expectations. Let me speculate how 19 years made me wrong.

1. I keep on making resolutions that I cannot accomplish
Like the time I said, I have to be 101/100 in accounting or I must lose 10 pounds in a week. At the end of the day, I only had 85/100 and lost twenty-four hours. It’s quite devastating to make unrealistic goals. I keep this habit to make sure I’d push myself to the best of my abilities even if it takes frustration and burnout.

2. I cannot be nice to everyone
A kind favor I do to myself, I treat everyone how I want to be treated but if one makes a pet peeve of mine boom~ I’ll treat you the way one deserves to be treated.~ I realized that all my life I have been too kind to people that they have been insensitive about my feelings. They brought too much criticisms and comments about me without looking how awful their eyebrows really looks like. I’m not complaining. I’m just saying. A kind favor to myself, at least I’ll be nice to myself and show myself some respect and honor the way I deserve it.


3. I am impatient

Time is more precious than gold. It’s one thing I hold onto myself a lot. If you respect and love a person, you respect their time or you give them your time. Whenever I feel like it’s enough or like I-have-to-be-productive-but-I’m-stuck-here dilemma, then I’ll leave. You have enough of my time, you cannot bring it back in just a snap no matter how ~rich~ you are and how shiny your car is.  

4. I don't make an effort to make a guy (or anyone) stay


#RelationshipGoals. Again I’d be lying if I said “I don’t want a boyfriend” or “I don’t want to see myself with a guy who buys me a rose each day, treats me like queen, and cannot wait to live with me.” But trust me when I say this… right now, I am okay with Not Having A Boyfriend if he’s the wrong one for me. I don’t like to end up being stuck with someone who does not realize my worth as a person while I meet the right one for me. Again, the #RelationshipGoals I see in my Facebook Feed is quite enchanting, and deeply I wish I have a boyfriend too; and I’d rather wait for him and save everything for him than winding up all my efforts to make someone else stay. Boys aren’t dogs. I can’t make someone who “doesn’t wanna be with me” to be with me because in the end the blame would be on me. So for now, don't expect me to text first, plan dates, hunt guys, flirt around, and give something extra. *you know*

5.  I find the flaws in everything

…Because I’m not like everyone else who thinks “flaws” are bad. If you have flaws, then you can expect to be ~hated~ by everyone else; this is why people conceal..But not to me. Flaws are good in my vocabulary. Scars are beautiful. I love knowing people’s scars, bad sides and experiences. It’s what makes someone ‘a person.’ Just take a look at the reflection of the sunset at a broken mirror. It’s more beautiful than its image of not being broken at all.

Photo by www.diyphotography.net


6. But I see the good in every bad


In this way, I’d understand what a person is really like. I love to believe that every person is good. This is one thing I get internally lost about myself. I understand others until I cannot understand myself anymore. Sometimes, I’d even forgive those who truly brought damage in me and learn that they actually have insights to share after all.

Most of all, 7. I cannot be "perfect". I cannot be what other people expect me to be. I'll laugh when I want to, I will cry when I have to. I will not hold onto myself so hard just to make sure everyone else feels satisfied with my held back emotions. Being myself 24/7 would be the best option to have. 

Michelle Tan

RELATED: Pet Peeves

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Everything WRONG with Me Everything WRONG with Me Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 4:14 PM Rating: 5

2 comments:

  1. oh my gosh we share the same personality.
    specially number 6...

    YouTube: Reina Tsukada

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! Yes in number six, even though it's tough to give the benefit of the doubt, remaining positive helped me become a stronger person. Thanks for dropping by my blog!

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