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Break Someone's Trust NOW!

FOR GUARANTEED ASSHOLES!

WARNING: PROFANE LANGUAGE
PROCEED WITH CAUTION
                   
        Everyone wants to be trusted and cared for by the people they love. If you disagree with the first statement, continue reading! If you disagree with the second statement, continue reading!

            Of course, having said that relationships make us foster as we grow older and wiser. We become stronger and happier even when situated at a risky encounter because we are aware that we can count on someone else and gain their support rather than fearing that our life will end at a snap. Everything boils down to trust whether it's assigning your coworker with the biggest project of the company, or sharing private insights to a new acquaintance, or even posting a photograph of yourself in social media...it all boils down to trust (and partly foolishness.)

            Let us all embrace the fact that gaining someone's trust is difficult and there is no hard-wired formula to access everyone's loyalty. When most people give you tips on how to get your gritty hands on their precious heart, here's ten of the many reasons why things got screwed up.

            Without further ado, I present The Rules to Breaking Someone's Trust: The Easy-Way to Destroy your potentially or growing relationship by doing at least one of the finest deal breakers. Now you'll never be Fool-proof and Guaranteed Asshole.


1. Consistent Lying
            "Really, I said that? As far as I remember, I said this (insert whatever excuse you can add until the story becomes convincing.)"  You can add, "You are such a reliable friend. Please don't make me feel upset that I am making excuses not to be with you. Because I am really trying. I love you."
            Make your realistic excuses. In the middle of an argument, bring up the past (mostly their mistakes), make them feel guilty, play the "victim's part", mention names that they've did something wrong to. See the endless possibilities of winning (a pathetic argument.)
           
2.  Cancel Meet Ups at the Last Minute
            "FRIEND! I really want to hang out with you soon, I'm dying to stare at your deep ocean-blue eyes. You are really amazing! I'll call you on Friday 5pm." And when friend shows up to the RestoBar place you've been aching to see, text friend "My mom wants me to go home ASAP." And never chat friend again... Or chat friend again and say "sorry I will make it up to you. How about tomorrow at 6, same place?" Repeat without rain check. See if friend doesn't cry... If they don't=Plan Fail! Pat yourself at the back because you can still be forgiven by them. Plan Success!

3.  Avoid the topic Personal Life
            When friend asks how your mother was, tell them they have something in their teeth. You're not being rude; you're being nice, doing them the favor of salvation from possible humiliation. When they ask you again, you can mention the time you thought they really looked awesome in a jumpsuit. Ask them how their mother is, instead, and ask how they feel about being asked about their mother! End of discussion.

4. Never Make your Plans Happen
            "Hey friend, Let's go for a drive this week, road trip to the country next month, go to the movies and grab coffee today! Cancel your date with Eric. He's not worth it." The moment your friend cancels everything in order to be with you, DITCH them! Even better if you grab an acquaintance's company to make these plans turn into reality. The best if you'd post your photos in Facebook and even tag her.  #MissinU #HuHuHu

5. Arbor Their Possessions
            So your friend lend you a first edition complete set of Harry Potter series and she told you she'll get it by in of three months time. Of course that is a reasonable time to read the entire seven books, but you decided to erase 'Property of: ' at the cover page and replace it with your name and autograph. And when they remind you to return the book, always say "I have already returned it to you," follow up with, "Maybe Stacie has it, after all, she was the next one to borrow yours."

6.  ... Or Return them in Bad Condition 
            "Hey Friend. Your HP Set is here! Thanks for lending me even if I return it with torn, missing, coffee-spilled, crumpled, ripped, and burned pages." Well at least I returned it...right? High five, HARRY DIDN'T DIE. And talk about how awesome the book is and how many nights you spent reading the books, that lead to its utter destruction. And make an excuse that you have to borrow The Percy Jackson Series Next!

7. Promise What You Never Intend to Give
            Like you time, a cup of coffee, a piece of mint, your exclusive notes, and probably the chance to open yourself to them. After all, it's safer to not share private information about how you manage to pass senior year or even how you use your parents' credit card or how you feel about getting dumped by a girl named Abby. Promise them some quality time together while you swipe your fingers at your smartphone and read through your crush's "Hey :D" Text message. Don't worry, your friend cannot read between the lines

8. Pretend Someone you are Not
            It is easy to lie about yourself when you want to woo people to get along with you. Tell everyone that you have been dating the hottest celebrities in town, shaking hands with the young elites in the metro, and owning the latest gadgets, and travelling around the richest towns across globe. You can even say that you attended to University of Swag and got President Obama to ask you personally through an assistant to sing for his birthday. Now, everyone (including yourself) "dies" to be you! But what happens when your credit card bills have been throwing themselves in your front door while you are having a private party with your amigos... you have to get your story straight.

9. Talk about them Behind Their Back
            "Have you seen her latest bag? It was actually Php 99.00 What a cheapskate! Did you know she did is already working in a call center agency? Poor thing. She's also pregnant and she doesn't know the father." Honesty is the best policy, so spread the news like ASAP even if you pinky swear-ed.

10. Add a Little Spice (to the story), add more if necessary!
            It would make a better story if you also add how she once admitted that she is pansexual and got a major boner for that guy named Norman... you know, the guy who always farts when he burps when he chews his gum while he writes the name of his crush "Abby Hearts <3". Also, you might want to dig deeper and say how her parents once were young rebels and her great, great grand parents were not the Great Musicians of All Time. Make sure she doesn't know she's being talked about when she enters the room. Also, make sure "it didn't come from you (wink wink)."

            CONGRATULATIONS! You have just ruined a friendship, broke someone's trust, and won the award of BEST MANIPULATOR AND LIFE RUINER! You can collect your trophy after I hit you with this Gold Metal that says, No. 1 Asshole Ever! You also get one gift certificate to Never-Gaining your friendship Again, now get Off!

            I have to admit, I cried while writing this because I don't want to give the wrong intention. I hope that I didn't give ideas to those who are already doing this, you know better, please don't do this because there are many innocent people who are really making an effort to see the best in you. If you're not aware of the fact that they have been foolishly there for you, then I can say that you are not worth it. I said mean stuffs in this post to make you aware of what you are, creature.

             All these things mentioned were done by people I know resulting to a wrecked friendship. End of story.  Because whether you like it or not, each day a friendship is broken due to the lack of growing from one another. People do not know how vital it is to have a trusted companion with you through ups and downs in life. The reason why I wrote this article is not to make fun of the fact that stupid people follow these rules, but to give you a little more perspective of what is happening, and to also keep in mind that there are some people who won't stop doing these.


            In the past, I've been, seen, observe people who stick in "bad relationships" even to the point that it is destroying each other. These people are actually aware that they are doing wrong decisions or bad choices but they are simply afraid to do what's best for them (hint: to be in a healthy relationship they deserve to have before indulging into something stupid.) They are also afraid that people will judge them, or their so-called friends would be their enemies in turn. But if I am going to ask you something, would you rather be stuck in a circle where you live by your insecurities, doubts, and fantasies that everything you have is real or be in the risky side where all you have to do is to choose what is healthy for you even if people are going to say something bad at you. Word of Wisdom: Whatever you do in life, whatever you choose in life, wherever you came from, and whichever way you'd rather have, people would judge you. I suggest that this time, you break The Rules if you want to save your friendship.
Break Someone's Trust NOW! Break Someone's Trust NOW! Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 11:09 PM Rating: 5

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