To The Girl Who Had Her Heart Broken

Hey Girl Friend,

            I know what you're thinking...That title I gave you, "girl space friend" is applicable to you now since you no longer are anyone's girlfriend; that he let the space consume the title. You're being paranoid again on yourself, on him, on what others will think about your "love life". You are overthinking on what would happen next because things didn't work well. You had your heart shattered in pain, and he's not even moping over your break up. I understand. Yes it's unfair that you are like that and he's not like that, but pause for a while and just let me say this to them: we have the right to love because we want to care for another person more than just ourselves. They don't have to say that we were wrong for loving someone because we made mistakes or were fooled by them, but hey we're am only human. They don't have to rub in our faces that we should not love again because we have had enough heart aches. They don't have to tell us that we should not love again because we don't deserve our hearts in pain. I know what you feel--you gave your best shot but it still ended the way you didn't expect to. What would people say now that it's over? Well, I don't know, people say a lot of things, BUT HERE is what I've got to say:

            I don't care anymore what other people think or say. I'd rather spend time to prove myself that I am interesting rather than listen to their rants that I am not.

            Anyway, STOP with that "eating-a-pint-of-cookies-n'-cream-because-it's-over" kind of scene. Stop moping. Okay, maybe not but let me hug you for a while.  Don't look at me like it's never happened to me or that I never got my heart broken for a guy just because you see me smile like it's never happened.

            Today I am going to share you how I got mine broken several times and I don't care if it's heard on the virtual world of the Internet. I want to help you even if it takes a little bit of my privacy publicized. But before that, please bear with me. I want an open mind; respect whatever happened to me because whether I regret some of these encounters or not, in the latter I saw the world what or who is worth it and not. (To the boys who might find themselves applicable on any of these, don't say to yourself "Hah, she's writing about me!" because you're not gonna be more than the words I will say about you in the next paragraphs. So "hah" to that.)

1. To My First Love
            He started the butterflies, the romance in the air, the heartache. He's the first guy who's got my heart broken and the mere reason that I still wanted to have it broken thereafter. They say, "first love never dies", probably because everything about it is so memorable. In my case, it is not. Yes you may say I am a bad person for forgetting some things that happened between our relationship, but I realized that there is more to life than revisiting the happy moments of two people who shared moments together but rather decided to break it off. I also realized that he made me special at one point and I wanted to feel special once and for all, even if it takes one or no one at my side at all. You'll see what I mean.

2. To The Perfect Guy
            That teeth, that glasses, that smile, that body, that height, and yes, yes, yes to that scar!-- basically he is my type, the Harry Potter-look-a-like. The more I prove to him that we are perfect together, the more I go closer to him and tell him that I am his perfect girl, the thing is he'll never listen. He still ran to that girl who's a lot different than me. Of course it broke my heart, I mean, she's my classmate that time and I viewed her as the perfect girl (because she was chosen by my perfect guy). Here's the catch, though... Perfect is boring. Even though we had that undeniable chemistry, I'd rather be someone's first choice. And that, my friend beats perfection.

3. To The One...Who Disappeared
            "He likes you", "He likes you, Not!" and then before you know it, he's GONE! Whether you want to text him and ask, "Are you mad at me?" hold off that smartphone and ask yourself instead, "Will this help him get back with me?" Hint: NO! I am harsh babe, but nothing is much painful than having it broken with someone whose choices seemed unclear. Whether you know the answer on why he suddenly left or not, whether he chose his own reputation than being with you, know this--the only difference between his choice and yours is that You chose you because YOU LOVE YOU. Well, I mean, me. I'm glad I made the better choice.

4. To That One Who Didn't Do Anything
            Never go out with a guy who promised the ocean for you but never jumped a single poodle for you. This guy wouldn't commit. This guy is not "up for the challenge to win you." Don't bombard me with excuses such as, "He's busy studying" or "He greeted me HBD" or "He asked me out but forgot". Okay, so he's busy studying your Facebook profile instead of getting to know you. Okay, so he greeted you HBD instead of pulling off a grand gesture on how special your day must be. Okay, so he indirectly cancelled your date by not having a rain check with you. Honey, you're better than his excuses. No more explanations further.

5. To The One that's Hard to Resist
            The Appeal of this guy is nothing more than switching gender roles with each other. I started chasing this guy who I thought was the most special on earth. I started treating him like a king, praising him like a fool, I made everything to make sure I'll win him over. Yup, I know what you are, isn't it what he's supposed to do to me? At that time, I was insecure of myself saying that I will never meet any guy like him in every dynasty and if I did not make a move, I will lose him. And so I made my moves, and I lost. Check. Mate.

6. To The Bad Guy
            "I knew you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me now!" Taylor sang the song; the symphony played our time together. I never loved bad boys with rad attitude, I know better than that. But he's the one who made a complete fool of me, thinking that I might change him. That perhaps if I did it successfully, he won't think of suicide anymore. WRONG. Instead, it was the reverse, he let me see the bad things of people and pulled me in his world where the world is against me. It's too painful to admit it to myself, but I was there on the situation where I lost my friends because I was dragged down too deeply. And I sank on the bottom of my wave, without any choice but to rise up. I did, and now, I know better. I'll never settle for less.

7. To The Sweet Guy
            He's the guy who's got a crush on me forever, who'd wait until midnight to check if I got home safely; The guy who lived overseas and wanted a relationship with me so badly. He sent me gifts from his country, photographs of his amazing works, talked how amazing I was to his loved ones. Thing is, again, I was insecure. I didn't like him that much the way he did. I feel sorry that I cannot reciprocate his feelings, but believe me I do. Every girl wants to be treated like a princess the way he does. Thing is, he's someone else's prince. It was hard to tell him I don't love him back even though I hardly want to learn to love him, but I'm so happy he accepted the fact that there's no way to learn this hard truth but move on without me.

8. To My Almost
            Ah, that Romantic Bard I almost saw having my future with. He's the guy who is related or close with number 3. He worked so hard to get my attention, to gain my interest, to convince me that he's my forever, and etcetera. One day he drifted away. Maybe I was too much for his challenge. The Knight gave up to conquer the princess because he knows that only a prince can marry a princess. He never let himself the chance to make me say yes. I was ready when he went off to find another.

9. To The One I'm-Glad-You're-Not-The-One
            Boy, you were an ordinary person. Someone who didn't plan for the future, somebody who lived for today, someone who is too nice to even be interesting. Whatever you are, I don't have anything to say to you but to read the title of number nine again and again.

10. To The nEXt Ones
            Brace Yourself. It's not gonna be easy for you. Trust me.

            Honestly, I didn't expect them to be ten, but I know there are a lot of Mr. Wrong's out there. Basically, they weren't my exes exactly, but at some point in my life I viewed them someone special or with potential. I don't know what got into my head or my heart that time but now I know what I deserve, thanks to them. They are not worth it, but some are worth the heartbreak. I do not believe there is a game we play. I only believe in what I want to believe in... That I deserve to be won over; that he has to work hard for me; that it love may not turn out the way we wanted it to be, but it doesn't mean none of it is worth it. You and I are worth it.

            Here is what I've learned, relationships happen. It gets broken most of the time to the point that they end up not even wanting to be strangers. If only I had the choice to have it broken, I want it because we loved each other too much that we had to set it free. It has to be because of pure selflessness, not because we got bored or other unworthy excuses.
            Friend, every time I emerge myself in the Relationship Lane or Dating 101, I am mindful of this thing I wrote for The One (you might want to read it later *wink wink*) ... I am into love. I want love but I am not waiting nor looking for it. I want it to happen in the perfect time. I want love because love wants me back. And whether I get my heart broken again and again, I want it to be worth it. Not because I am fooled again. So what if I loved many people? I did it one at a time, when I was ready, when I wasn't, when I deserved it, when I needed it, when I was insecure, when it came. I will love and continue to love. I am not desperate for it because I continue my life whether they are going to show up or conceal themselves in fear of what others might think of us. I will not find a partner because I am tired of looking for one, I am tired of waiting and asking "what if?" What I will do is accept the fact that I love myself and I am capable of taking care of myself with or without a partner. I suggest you do the same.

            Now come here and let me give you another hug for being brave. Brave enough to give him a chance to be a part of your life. Courageous in opening up yourself for him and trusting yourself that it will work. I love that most of all, you chose to give yourself a chance to feel wonderful about being loved, to share moments with him, to be proud of yourself in having another chapter in your life finished, and most of all, for learning and accepting that it's over. Over in the sense that, you know first and foremost, that you can walk out in your life when you want to and you deserve better than having it broken for wrong people. Second, that you are not too desperate to want him back in your life because you know it's going to do more harm than good. Third, is because you still hope for the best of your future.

            Now stand up, face your future and make the most of it. Here's a shade of coral lipstick, it suits for everybody. Go out and prove him his loss, or go out and prove yourself that you are worth it.

Love with minimal regrets,

Tami (Michelle Tan)
To The Girl Who Had Her Heart Broken To The Girl Who Had Her Heart Broken Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 4:17 PM Rating: 5

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