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Insurmountable 3: Hidden Desire


*****
6 hours earlier...

I finished reading the book "Othello". It was such a shame that he trusted his friend more than his wife. 

And dad entered my room. Sometimes I don't feel weird that I am wearing my night gown in front of him but something feels peculiar tonight.
"How does it feel to be sixteen?" He asks.
"What am I supposed to feel at sixteen? It's just a number. And I think it doesn't really matter as long as I am with you."
"Good. I have a present for you." He hands me a box with a purple ribbon. I love purple.
"Don't open it yet. Open it after ten seconds after I leave this door. I hope you'll like it."
I'm curious of what he has for me this time. For five years, he has been giving only books for my birthday.
When he latched the door, I scratched my nails and tossed the wrapper onto the floor. Scattered. I opened the box.

I felt myself lying down the floor.
Darkness came over me once again.


After a while, I felt hands hiking up my long night gown. Ambivalently fighting for my eyes to open but I feel the numbness of my body. When I finally opened my eyes, I felt really heavy lowness within me and realize that my hands are cuffed together. I looked at the man behind all this detriments and saw my own dad. And at that moment I apprehended how he always looked at me.

"No" I said coquettishly.

All the memories came, my brother, my mother, and now my dad. Why have I been born in this family? Why does this things keep on happening to me? Why me? How come they're all born with corrupted minds?

"Teenagers your age lose their virginity to their boyfriend. And since you promised me that you'll love me forever, how about I'll return you the favor. Happy Birthday Sweetie." Dad says with avert lechery and appetite. A mixture of evil and insanity are two things that overpower the expression of his face when I try to fight back.

"Dad," or should I even call you that? "I don't want to. I'm not ready. I won't lose it to you." Every kicking is useless for I know that he's weight is on me and I cannot ever move a muscle. He outsmarted me because he knows that I am under his power, under this house.

"I gave you everything. Why do you want to disobey your own father? I'm doing you a favor so that you belong in this generation. Come on Sweetie, you don't have a choice."

"Yes I do have a choice and that is NO! You are not doing me a favor, but you are doing yourself one. You're selfish! Scummy! It's not disobeying when you are wrong."

"Chief police officer is never wrong. And I protected you from everyone!"

"You are supposed to protect me from someone like you!"

"Oh none sense. Stop fighting or I'll really hurt you. You don't know what I can do."

"Well then show me!" Then he smacked my stomach and slapped my face. The physical pain is bearable, even when blood grips to the torments of my skin. But I would be emotionally scarred for life because of this. I forcefully hit him with the cuff on both of my hands and a fine line of blood wounded his forehead, as well. He swiftly grabbed my hand and roped them on the metal of the bed, the header. I tried to wiggle myself like a worm but I am so helpless. 

I screamed on top of my lungs and he kissed me. How disgusting is my first kiss! He's good, but I wonder how many women he abused his power to. He dragged his tongue inside and swivelled. He touched the curves of my waist and cupped my breasts when I can do nothing but cry and squeal.

"You like that?" he said. With undeniable arousal, he unbuttoned his shirt and pinned me down while he can.

"I don't like it." I cried and he traced for my neck. 

"I'll try to make your first one The Best. I promise. Just let me in."

"I will never forgive you for this."

"You'll understand what I'm doing later. But for now, just try Sweetie. Daddy loves you so much." And he kisses my neck and bust while he unzips his pants. He removed my night gown when I felt the sudden chill of the night on my sixteenth birthday.

"Dad, please no." I had my final say. "I'm not ready. I don't want this. I just want to be peaceful." And he rubs my nipples. 

"Stacey, Sweetie. You're gonna love it. I've been planning this my entire life. Since your birth, I fell in love with my daughter more than I ever felt with other women. I believe that my princess is the strongest, most beautiful, and most gracious of all and I want that girl. She's you. Many will envy you because of that, so you have to belong. Hold still. This might hurt." And he pressed himself in me. I felt it pinching me like a thousand of pins harassing the core of me. 

I don't want this. But I'm letting it happen again.

"No. Please stop --" and he kisses me again but forcefully now and trailed his hands from my sides up and down up to my hips and up again while I cry. Stop it dad, but my voice hinders me to. Why am I stopping myself to?

"You taste so sweet." He says. "I want to kiss you entirely." Or you could just literally eat my remains but kill me now. I don't want to live right after this. He kisses me from my mouth downwards until he reached the peak of my thighs. He puts his thumb to my navel and presses his other fingers to my other lips. He kisses them and hums my favorite song. He moves his hands to both my feet and reach for my legs and up to my hips and down again. I can feel his tongue down there and I don't understand how he can stand it.

It makes me think that all men are like this. Disgusting. Why do all people that are important in my life would take advantage of me? Would Charles do this to me? He mentioned something about rape. Oh forget it, no one loves me.

I hope that it's just a bad dream. I shut my eyes tight and count up to the end of infinity. But suddenly an electrifying blast shivered from my spine. It's not the kind of butterflies I felt for Charles. It's different.

"I'll make you cum again." He said and forced himself to me. But now his rhythm is much faster. 

"Please stop it dad, I can't grrrr. think."

"But it's already begun. Besides, you're starting to love it." With the look of his eyes full of sensual lust, I tried to look at the ceiling and bolt my eyes closed again.

I came again before he did. 

"I'm glad you love it Sweetie. We'll do it again tomorrow night." And blows a final kiss into my mouth. How could I love something that I was resisting all along? And I don't want to do it again. I'll never do it again, thank's to you. Why can't these words say? Why abstaining myself from the power to correct him? Is it because I am weak over him all along? Or is it because I always let others rule over me?

I hate me. I hate this day. I hate darkness.

*****

It's 6:46 in the morning.
I woke up thinking that everything is just a dream. A nightmare, specifically. But when I saw the blood on my underwear, I know that this one is definitely the worst of reality.

I wanted to scream. BUT I couldn't. I cried with dejection. I held my hair tight and made me want to tear them out. IT'S OVER. I'm saving it for someone special. The good news is he's not on my list. The bad news is this. 

He is so w i c k e d. WICKED! 

I slapped my face once, twice, thrice. Maybe he should be the one who should take the slapping. He's face, I mean.

I don't want it to be today. The next day. I don't want another tomorrow.

I don't want to live.

Without thinking, I ran outside my house through the window. If this escape attempt would be successful, where would I go? Who would believe me? He is, after all, the chief police. I cannot go there. But where? This is the stage of my life when I have to face things on my own; when books can no longer help me escape reality while creating fantasies. 

I just ran.

Not knowing where I'll go. On this tarnished night gown, I'm still running with the slippers protecting my feet.

I hid beneath the tree where I found a house atop. I climb there and rested on the wooden house. I hope to find comfort in this temporary habitat, in this situation. I hope. Where is one?

***** 
"Jesus!" I screamed. A blank face dude was watching me while I was asleep. Charles!

"you were trespassing my house. I should call the police, I think you needed help."

"No!" I said.

"That's what I thought. So I waited for you to wake up. You look really messed up."

"Does anyone know I'm here?"

"Just me."

After all I've been through, I managed to hug this stranger I just met twenty hours ago. Embracing him feels like darkness never existed.

"You're welcome." He smiled.

"Huang." He says. "Charles Huang."

"Huang Huang Huang." I joked as if he were the siren.

"I deserve that, Stacey Lee."

"Don't call me that!" I say.

"Stacey Huang." He said. I blushed.

"So what brings you here Stacey Huang? Unfinished business? True Love? Round Two?" He says with a smile on his face.

"Long story."

"Take all my time if you want. You can trust me."

"Hmmm. And don't call the police, or the psychologists, or your mom, or call me crazy."

"What if I'll call you mine?" His teases distract me. But I have to say that I might be falling faster.

"Stop it! Or I won't tell you." I gave him a narrow look.

"You have to admit first that I am irresistible." He added.

"I am irresistible." I said and he felt disappointed, but still interested with my story.

"Yeah, that's right."

"I have to ask you something first. When you said yesterday that you'll rape me, would you do that? Would you really do it to a stranger?"

"To you? Well I know that it's not really a good joke. But I'll never force myself to someone even if I like that person very much. And I don't fuck strangers."

"You did it before?"

"Yeah. With my ex girlfriend. But we broke up anyway. It was a bummer."

"You like it?" He looks at the window as if he were remembering a part of his memory that was forgotten.

"Hell yeah." Good for him. He looks at me with his mouth wide. "But I kinda wish that I lost it to Hope. She was my greatest love."

"I thought she was your girlfriend."

"Hey, why am I the one being asked? Aren't you supposed to be telling me what brought you here?" He narrows his right eye and widens his left. I raised my brow.

"I need a place to stay."

"ahhh, you've finally gotten over your curfews. Bad girl." He said, and smiled. "Well you're welcome here. I live here without my parents anyway, so. . ." He looks at me with a kind of spark that is inevitably addicting.

"Where are your parents?" I asked.

"Detroit. Two miles from here. I support myself now. You're welcome here as guest."

"You mean like a live in partner or something?"

"No!" I frowned. "Something like that. You're my friend anyway. And I guess you're immune to my hotness." He gives me two keys. He leads me to the entrance of his mini-house. A bunggalo.

"One is for the main entrance, and the other is for your room. Don't worry, I won't scare you in the night. I respect your privacy. Although you have to do the same with me too."

"Do I have a choice Huang?" 

"No you don't." He says. Right now, he's the only one I trust. And I really don't know why. I guess it will be worth it.

"Do you have clothes?" I ask.

"You are here to stay and not to borrow for my stuff. We are not live in partners." He scolds me again. "And what's with the zombie attire?" He asks.

"Costume party for myself."

"Get rid of it. It seemed like you were... Never mind." He looked away from me.

I don't like the feeling when he looks at me with all the fireworks in his eyes and suddenly look away from me as if the spark were gone temporarily or for good. 

Should I tell him? Would he reject me? Would he be disgusted at me? I don't know. All I want is to be distant from the monsters. I hope that Charles isn't one.






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Insurmountable 3: Hidden Desire Insurmountable 3: Hidden Desire Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 12:13 PM Rating: 5

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