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Katrina


            They will never understand what you're going through, at this point in your life; but let me take this opportunity to tell you how strong you are and I'm proud of you for choosing Luke.


            Twelve years ago, we were kids running around in circles on each other's kitchen, not minding what life would be now. We would borrow each other's toys and play it at the sand box on my back yard. I was so insecure of how beautiful you were ever since we were young, and still gorgeous now that you are eighteen. You would always flaunt your straight, sleek, long black hair; while I look up to my damaged blonde curls. And whenever you apply sun block during our annual swimming lessons, I'd always watch how glowing and flawless on your porcelain-white skin; what about my brown and uneven-toned skin? Sometimes, we would pretend to be super models, strutting on an aisle, pretending that it were a ramp; and you'd always pick me up no matter how I fall. I'd always cry to you and say how fat and ugly I am, and you'd always tell me that "the size you have cannot measure the size of your heart and how can it enormously fulfill love", and now, I'm going to say the exact same words to you.

           And now that your beauty physically fades, your heart always seemed to grow. People discriminate you and that big bulk on your belly you will have to carry for three more months after raising it with much love and care. It was unplanned, I know. For you have been accepted to your dream university and pursue your dreams on being a full pledged model. Since, however, Luke has added to your life, think of it as a blessing, and not as curse. They may have rejected your application as an entree, or your registration to enroll, but never abandon your needs just as much as they have with your dreams. I looked up to you, all my life. They did something unfair to you--they judged your abilities based on your body, and not because of your dedication and capabilities. You are the typical perfect girl blessed with beauty, intelligence, and personality. They didn't keep you because they are limited with their standards and withdrawn by humiliation. There is nothing to humiliate about that thing living inside you. There is nothing to be embarrassed about you.

           I, in fact, admire you not only for the wonderful things you did to me and to how much happy I am for having a best friend who is as blessed as you are, but also because you are so strong. Pregnancy was never easy; It's just the beginning. You will have to carry, care, and watch out for Luke every single time. I didn't mean to scare you; I meant to praise you. I know how much you would prefer the elevator now than you did six months ago, or how much the stairs challenge you. I know all the complications, the sickness, the fear of facing people, the fear of facing reality, the stress of going back and forth to the doctor for check up, the change in diet, and the feeling of having "no" father to oblige his future son. I just know them (based on the books I've read and the stories you've shared) but you encounter them. You are really stronger than you think. You are not alone with this experience, which frightens but gladdens me...because one there will be someone sharing your same story and will be able to gather same strength from yours. Two, it keeps on happening, and we are just eighteen. I'm not scared for you or for your baby. I'm scared for what your heart and dignity has to face every day. Yet, there is nothing to be ashamed of that.

           A beauty queen once said, "A woman celebrates her femininity with joy, when she has discovered to have conceived a baby." Being able to significantly become fertile is good news, especially to those ready. I don't know if you are, but I hope that you will be able to accept and embrace your new life now. Dear Katrina, I bless you with more strength. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will be here for you. I will be here just as much as you were there when I was in the room of melancholy.
            I hope you are doing fine in your life. Please continue to pursue your dreams.

P.S. I hope you love the baby clothes I mailed to your house.
XOXO

Sally
Katrina Katrina Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 9:11 PM Rating: 5

2 comments:

  1. Ganda mo friend! Pang-ANTM. Awesome Blog, btw ♥

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHAHA, I miss you. I love this post <3


    SOOOO empowering

    ReplyDelete

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