Ray of Light

~For Joshua Joffe and (mostly, for) his fans.
You guys are awesome. It's that kind of kryptonite.

Intro: Every fan girl's message to her idol.

      Whatever happened to me, happened.

         There was no ordinary day after the day I first saw you. I question myself every now and then why or how come. It made to a point that I was up all night thinking if I have the same effect to you, or if others have the same on you. I guess the second one is more accurate.

         Out of nowhere, I scatter all the photos of you that I have, every messages you replied to me, everything that I have about you and giggle a bit about how astounded I was to your face. Yours is like a god that would want any beautiful women to worship; transformed into a lifeguard for taking my breath away, then all of a sudden, bringing me back to life; and later, to an angel--a light saving grace to every woe I've had before you came.  Now, who wouldn't fall for that face?

As I assemble the box of memories I have with you back to where it came from, my fixed thoughts about you can no longer be found in the file of reality. I wonder if it would be the same again. I wonder if you felt the same spark I felt that day I saw you, or it was just a plain emotion I felt for "hot guys" who know how to sing, dance, act, wink, and be technically perfect. I wonder if you felt that, to me or to any other person in your life. Maybe this infatuation has kept me wondering a lot, lessening my time to have a productivelife.


         I'm not being romantic nor trying to be one. I'm honest. I'm confused. Whether I want to have your attention, keeping it real, or perhaps letting change transform. Still, I feel lucky to be one of your followers simply because you want to entertain your fans. You're much easier in reach compared with the other celebrities. I love supporting you because I want to see you happy. Although, I can see beneath those beams, you're unhappy.

         Was there someone keeping your happiness away from you? I guess, there are. Still, keep in mind that you have real supporters like me. We're all dying to see you smile, to bond with you, and to scream our lungs out for your attention. We want to keep your heart racing as much as you do to us.

         Or. Is there someone who stole your heart from us? Oh she must be some babe we, girls, desire to be. Well, she's lucky and we can't do anything but be glad for you. I guess she's the one that keeps you up all night the way I do. I guess her laugh stings your spine that makes you mirror her every gesture. I know she's your ultimate fan, the one who will never give up on you through ups and downs. And no, she's not your mom or any other person related to you. She is the one any man would wanna leave with. That girl who'd cook pancakes and eggs on breakfast while you steam a pitcher of coffee. The girl who would be hysterical during the afternoon because she cannot satisfy her food cravings. The same girl who makes your night extremely special, as her kisses draw meaning out of nowhere and her embrace warms your cold night. The girl who'd make sense out of the world when you become too dreamy and too idealistic in your plans. The girl who is not afraid to reveal her true self come rain or shine. And every other detail makes my heart ache and cheer at the same time, wondering if that girl could ever be me. That girl. Some babe.   

          I guess she would demand something in return. She'll want you to listen to her, chase her, pursue her, argue with her, love her, cherish her, keep her, and be proud of her. That we, your fans, want you to do to her too. I know you already do that to us, but expand that kind of relationship with that girl.

(C) Camille Tan
         Remember, I'll always be here to make effort in bringing the reason out of you. It may be your reason to begin or to end. I don't care, as long as I'm involved in your life. Even only a dim of sunlight in your happiness, I am willing to spare.

Photos by:
Joshua Joffe Facebook Fan Page :D
Ray of Light Ray of Light Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 4:13 PM Rating: 5


  1. the way you make me feel :) good writing really inspires.


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