All Four-One PART TWO

By Michelle Tan
~For Krissha Sualog
Fan Girls get the man they deserve. Keep your fuel burning.


DAY 12.
            "Hey Nathan. She gave me a bottle of orange soda. Not my type of drinks, but don't want to disappoint nice hot girl, so I went on it. I kissed her cheeks. The scent of citrus on her neck made me think of what was it like to go on the bed with her. My heart palpitated. My eyes dilated. My pants became tight. Oh no, boner. I pulled my shirt downwards so she will not notice.
            "You smell nice, how about we go to Monster Fucker, I mean Tucker! Monster Tucker." A roller coaster nearby will surely make my B disappear.
            "Sure, then we can parachute?"
            "Great suggestion."
            I like this girl; she just has lust for adventure. I have lust for her. She's the typical woman, It Girl. The Company roots me for Natalie. I root myself on this girl. She's more of the curvy but tall girl, with round muscles that I enjoy squeezing in. She wears her tight yellow jeans and white floral top and ordinary black boots; rugged but quite feminine. It highlights her curves and her sassy neck that anyone would want to bite. Her eyes, when she looks at me, so innocent. Her lashes fold onto a curve that makes me want to put my hand on her shoulder. Her lips are quite small, naturally pink, that it makes me want to nibble it for her. I want her! She's perfect.
            After finishing all rides, we took a break and rested on a boat. I rowed the oar for her, to be a perfect gentleman. I stopped in the middle of nowhere, hoping that there's no one taking our photos and that we'll have as much privacy we needed here.
            "So what do you fear?"
            "I don't fear anything." She paused. "Oh, maybe I fear something. It's to lose my dignity and self-respect!" Wow, a bold and strong woman speaks her mind. She simply smiled at me.
            "What about you?" She asked me in return.
            "Hmmm, I fear to be un-loved by the person I love."
            "That's impossible. No one can un-love a person. They can only realize that they love themselves more than the other party."
            "Yeah, you're right. I like the way you figure things out so well."
            "Well." She smiled and fanned her hair all over the wind. WE ALMOST KISSED HERE! I regret not doing so.
            "Whoever you'd date is so lucky to have you. You should know that. You're special. A lot of girls are flocking, dying and begging you to notice them and their efforts. To the ones who'd set you free, they're foolishly and stupidly unworthy of you."
            "Thank you. I guess you're lucky. You're perfect."
            She laughed. "I guess I am. Thank you for having this much time and effort for me. I really appreciate that."
            Oh that sexy look she's giving me, she's tempting me to adjust my chasing parameters so I can lock her onto my arms forever. I touched her hand, and the rest of the night was handled by staring and giggling.

            The rest of the day shifted so quickly. We met at 9 am in the morning and now it's almost 8 in the evening. I have to drive her home. I recognized my watch, and for the first time, time is my greatest enemy. This girl makes me happy. The way she talks, so fluent and poised, and her confidence is stunning. I'd date her everyday. I love her.

DAY 16.
            "On a room, alone!" She shrieked. I thought today is the day when our stars will meet. Technically, the timer hasn't started yet because I'm here.
            "Yeah, like that. Stay here and just don't ever open the door, please."
            "I love you Nathan." I love you too. She continued, "but I have more important things to do in my life. You know that I have supported you on every project that you have, right? This is not right. I choose myself now."
            "Posh, if you'd let yourself. Prove to me how much you love me."
            "This is absurdity! I've already proved to you how much I love and support you ever since. Isn't that enough? Unless, you're making a fool out of me and dating other women at the same time, and you want to know who'll take you seriously and last on this room." Wow she's smart. Really smart.
            "No. That's not it." I am not dating them at the same time, but every other day, perhaps, if I'd put it that way. I hate the company.
            "I think, I know where this is going. All my life, I've always prayed for you to notice me, to love me." Prayers answered! "But I'm not for you. I've realized that. I deserve better!!!" Wow, she's confident, smart but demanding. I deserve you. I'm perfect, you're perfect, and we're perfect!
            "Hey, wait. You said that anyone who'd set me free is stupid? You're not stupid. Please. Don't do this. I love you!"
            "Yeah, I guess I am stupid. No, I'm not. You are stupid! And you don't love me! You lust for me! I can see in your eyes how much you'll get me far once I'm desperately in love with you. Why thank God I opened my eyes to how corrupted you are." She started to go pass the door. It's over for me.
            "Wait, you hurt me too much. No one does that to me!"
            "I guess I did." She went out the door. I followed her.
            "Fine, last words for you. Mind that you're fooling a lot of girls who think are worthy of you. I just want to say that I've been fooled once by a jerk like you. How could you do this to us? How could you repay us with your plays after all the support and love we give you? Don't you know how we feel when you kiss girls, how other women are so happy when you date them? I hate you now! I regret loving you. I hope your fans would stop supporting you."
            I am so furious. She made me feel so guilty about this. I grabbed her head towards mine, and kissed her torridly. Her lips taste like sweet mango, as I forced my tongue in her. I felt her warm mouth, so luscious. She forces me out of her, pushing me. But it makes me hold her so tightly. She bit me, so I bit her hard, and squeezed my breathes on her cheeks. She tried to slap me, but I stopped her hand, and twisted it swiftly. She squealed for pain. She's such a turn on. A group of bouncers forced me away from her. She's crying and weeping like she was abused.
            Boy I was foolish.
            No words were spoken after that.
            I wonder what would happen next.

            Mr. Dawson walked towards me with a briefcase.
            "Did you know how ignorant you were? Do you know what would have happened if she went out of the grounds in this building? We'd be sued. All of us!"
            "Where did you take her?"
            "It doesn't matter. Tomorrow, I want your best behavior. Don't make foolish things again. One wrong move and we're signing the contract off"
            "You could do that now."
            "ahh, did you forget about Hannah? If no one beats her time, you'll end up with her"
            "I thought we broke the contract already?"
            "I make the rules here Jonathan, and don't make me force you to end up like !" He stopped and broke the pencil in two. "Do you understand?"
            I walked away.
            He's right.
            She's right.
            I'm wrong.
            How do I undo my mistakes? There's absolutely no hope for tomorrow.

DAY 17.
            I miss Posh. They brought her to the Insanirator. I regret everything. I shouldn't have forced myself to Posh. I should have realized how much she loved me before the competition so I would have dated her, by now she would have been my girlfriend, or we could have been married.

            "You look upset." Natalie voiced out. Here comes the coy but sweet girl.
            "I'm just tired, that's all." I returned a smile.
            "What are we doing here?"
            "I want you to stay here, wait for me. I just want you to know that every effort you have done to me is so special. And I appreciate that." I gave her a photograph of me. "It's the only copy in the world, and I want you to keep it." I winked at her. She smiled and seemed to like the wallet-sized glossy paper.
            "What am I supposed to do while I wait for you?"
            "Do interesting things, you can write, draw, watch TV," I can't continue with this. I gave her a paper. "Open it when you're feeling down."
            "You keep me worried, what's this all about?"
            "You'll see. And if you were to pee, hold a little longer, okay."
            She looks puzzled. I went through the door, and she ran towards me and hugged me. I held her tightly, I can feel her flat breast pressed against mine. I stroked her hair, so smooth and so glossy. She has to beat Hannah!
            "Be strong!"
            "I am strong." She winked. I kissed her forehead, to give her hope, at least.

            At the Control room, I scrambled myself with thoughts. Posh is right, girls out there love me more than the love I deserve to receive. I am a jerk, but not for long.
            I watched Natalie. Sweet Natalie. Her straight sleek black hair flows until it touches her elbows. Her face is the typical baby doll, without makeup, she looks so cute and pretty for a seventeen year old. I am five years older than her. It seemed that she would be my little sister on another world or two. I'd like to protect her from all her potential exes. I'd drive her around town when she needs me. I'd give her a cold chocolate drink in the morning and a glass of warm milk every night when our parents are gone. It's some sibling love. But I am an only child. Well, I have a half-sister. Her name is Queenie, nine years younger than me. She'd be as loving and sweet as Natalie.
            Natalie read the books from the shelf. I guess she's interested in literature as I am.  

I remember Day 7 when I walked her to the Museum.
DAY 7.
            "Have you ever wondered how come scientists came up to a conclusion that changed the world? Just like Bernoulli on his Physics principle on how pressure is inversely proportional with the speed of flow for liquids. Or how D'mitri Mendelev discovered Chemistry? Science is so helpful."
            "You have unique interests. Tell me, how does science help you in your life?"
            "Well, it reminds me to wear rubber slippers so I won't get much electric shocks when I plugged sockets with wet hands." She laughed. She's boring. You can tell, because she'd rather keep her school girl uniform while she dates a celebrity."
            That's what I was thinking a few minutes ago. But my life changed by how much she loved to study and how much education is important to her as soon as she opened up.
            "I am an orphan. I have foster parents. I shift from home to home, and I cannot settle on one permanently because all of my foster brother and fathers tend to incisively rape me. I tried to fight for my rights. And so, a Catholic school offered to nurse me for a while. I serve the convent in the afternoon while they shoulder my expenses. I am a scholar. Always top two in school. People bullied me for that. They think I am pretty, smart, and everything, so they attack me so I would give up quickly. But I didn't. It honed me to embrace my life and to hope that I'd have a better future someday. This is my life."
            Wow. This girl can trust any stranger. I almost fell a tear for her.
            "Are you afraid of something?"
            "I am afraid that anyone would discover my past, discover my weakness, and use it against me."
            "Aren't you frightened that you told me about this?" We stopped at a dinosaur fossil statue at the middle.
            "Not really. I see you at the same page as mine. We are both controlled. People dictate our future, we choose where and what way we go. I see you trapped into a numerous line of good fortune. I am the opposite, but even so, I will not myself be defeated by people's expectations. I know, I sound dramatic, but look at me now..." Yeah in school uniform,  "I am far more than what I thought I could bring myself to."
            Yeah, she's a drama but I want to learn more about her story. She intrigues me. She's half right, I am controlled by this establishment called MANAGEMENT. To students it's just a course subject they have to pass, to businessmen it's a word they stumble everyday to handle flawlessly, to teachers it's one way to handle their students some attention, to me it is HELL but HEAVEN.
            "Whatever you are facing now, my dear, just continue to do your best. I'm your friend now. Thank you for trusting me, you won't regret that. And, I just cannot imagine how sweet you could be after all the disasters you've faced in your life. You seem so gifted. Simple, but presentable."
            She looked at the fossil before us. I wonder if she listened to every word I said, but I know, she did.
Back to Day 17
            2:37:05! Yes, she exceeded over Hannah! I hope she stays longer, though. I am confident about her. Maybe the company was right for rooting her for me after all. The timer keeps on running its numbers in a way that one would forget to blink every now and then. She's tough.
            Someone gave herself a hug, when a transparent container of spiders were suddenly flashed onto the hole somewhere in the room. She looked for all the possible entrance where it was thrown, but it was hopeless for her because the control room hid immediately its secret doors as soon as anything enters the Testing room.
            She walked around the room. "I'm looking for answers." Her mind stated. Wow, mind control is effective after all. I'm waiting for more.
            She went towards the end of the couch, touched the lamp and discovered a hidden camera. Holy Shit!
            She shivered in tears. "Why are you doing this to me? Do you know how it's difficult for me to be here? I ran away from the convent just to be here" Oh there goes her juicy secrets. She uncrumpled the paper I gave her and read it on her mind.
            "Natalie. I want you to know how much I appreciate you. You're the sweetest girl I've ever met. Those who were cruel to you don't deserve your trust, and I love that you saw me as your friend. I wanted to start by telling you that you lived a life of hate. I cannot believe how people could be so mean to you and you could be nice to them in return. You turned the cheek, like a real princess. You deserve to be loved, cared for, nurtured, and to be praised for. I am looking forward to how you battle your life and the next experiences you'll get. Whether you think you are strong enough or you are weak, I am here for you. For all the days, months, years you've supported me, I will return that to you. I'd like to make you a part of my life, a friend perhaps, or a sister. I'd want you to be keep your child in you but you have to change, you don't have to be so meek on the streets. I saw you hurt. I learned how much your mom hated to support you and your dad wanted to break you. You don't deserve this. Through you, I've learned how much I've been wrong in the past and how much I wanted to change for good. I want to start that through you. So whatever happens, I want you to stay stronger and fiercer. X Nathan."
            She shouted, "What? What's this! argggghh. You put me into a blind test and then you want me to hold on to this? How much fool do you think I am." She crumpled and threw the paper. She walked briskly towards the door.     Paused for a while, and reached for her pocket. She looked at my face at the photograph I gave her. She was reminded of the things I did to her a while ago. She wiped her tears. "I guess I felt special through you Nathan. But I cannot be your lover. Not in this life. I'll be your friend."
            I ran towards the Testing Room, perfect timing when she just backed out.
            "Hey." I said.
            She looked at me with fear.
            "I can't do this!" She said.
            "I told you I'd come back." She smiled when I said that. I hugged her.
            "I waited for too long." She exhaled as she dropped her bittersweet words.
            "I'm sorry for everything. I'm deeply moved by you. Please tell me you'd go longer. Please, stay with me. But if you can't hold any longer, I'd want you to do whatever you want so you'd be happy. I understand how much I've given you much pain. I will understand your decision."
            "Of course I want to be with you. But I'd like to fix myself first. I hope you'll understand and trust me on this."
            I kissed her hand before I let go of her hand.
            I dropped her off to where she stays. I kissed her forehead; Soft and smooth. I bid her farewell, though I hope this is not permanently.
            I went back to the Control room. 7:07:07. That's a number.

All Four-One PART TWO All Four-One PART TWO Reviewed by Michelle Tan on 6:33 PM Rating: 5

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